It’s like you’ve fantasized that forever but didn’t turned out to be that way!
Leaving insecurities behind and living MY OWN Life again!
Yeah! I miss the old jhen.
The jhen who is happy go lucky and jolly, who don’t care what others think of her, who used to laugh and laugh until her stomach aches, who used to wear those sweet smile. The girl who acts crazy oftentimes … what happened to her?
Whatever happened to me ?
I found myself staring at nowhere. (i used to that anyway! HAHAHA)
But this time, I am thinking of myself. Thinking of the old me. I’ve changed. I know and it’s kinda boring. HAHAHA
Ang hirap pala kapag tumatanda na! OO TUMATANDA NA! 19 nakoo ee pero feeling ko bata ako.. BATA FOREVER !! LIIT KO KASI EE!! eeee .. hahahah .. anyway, i think i have to grow up na (mag-mature! wala na pag-asa ung height eee) HAHAHA! Kidding aside, kailangan na talaga dahil malapit nakoo gumradweyt! Yun siguro ang dahilan kaya medyo nilalamon ako ng pressure ngayon. Kung bakit ako naiinsecure sa buhay ako. Feeling ko kasi 19 nakoo pero I still know nothing. SERIOUSLY! Ganun talaga nararamdaman ko. Magkahalong pressure an insecurity kaya di ko man lang namamalayan na hindi na pala ako to. Para na akong ibang tao. Hindi ko na kilala sarili ko kaya. Pati kung ano gusto ko mangyari sa buhay ko na dati naman naplano ko na, nagkaloko-loko na rin. Pati pag-aaral ko gusto ko ng madaliin matapos ee dapat nga ini-enjoy ko to ee..Siguro dahil probationary status ako as BSA student :( HAYYY!! >.
Ayoko ng ganitong pakiramdam. Hindi ako to ee. I WANT MY OLD ME BACK! :)
Kaya naman napag isip-isip ko na ibalik na ung dating ako. Yung masayahin lang at kahit pressured na pressured na GORA lang. ENJOY LIFE pa din:)
Simula ngayon hindi na ako matatakot dahil probationary ako. Kaya ko ipasa un. Wala namang imposible basta nag-aaral and of course PRAYER :)
Hindi ko na din ikukumpara sarili ko at iisipin na behind ako sa classmates ko. Naipasa ko ang COMPRE so ibig sabihin kaya ko din. Para akong shunga kasi ako din naman pala nagda-down sa sarili ko. EE siguro ganun tlga buhay. Minsan may cold days
HAHAHAH!
This time’ I’ll commit myself to prayer! It works. PROVEN na yan! :) Naniniwala kasi akong “kneeling will keep you in good standing” Life is meaningless without Jesus. All this time kahit na alam kong andami kong nagagawang mali He never failed to guide me and love me. The least thing I can do is pray and thank Him :)
hayyy .. hindi na rin ako mag-iisip na kung anu-ano. Ill’try to get rid of this bad habit- “harboring bad memories and playing the worst scenarios” So sick and tired of it.
2013 is coming fast! I have to pull myself together again and face the next one year of my life with GOOD VIBES :)
SO I’m leaving those insecurities behind and start living my own life again :)
Things will go wrong. Let’s see who’ll stay around.
Wala lang. Bigla ko lang naisip na “in this world where nothing is constant but change”… (ay sabeee ?? English talaga ? :D ) maraming pwedeng mangyari. Maraming pagbabago. Maaring maganda pwede ring hindi. Who knows ??. Minsan may mga pagbabago talaga na dahil na rin sa kapalpakan natin. Maling desisyon kaya mali rin ang kakalabasan. Naisip ko lang bigla kung magkamali ako sa pinakamling paraan na posible, sino kaya ang andun para sakin ?? :)
Diba sabi nga nila nakikilala mo ang tunay na kaibigan sa oras ng kagipitan… We’ll dati naranasan ko na rin naman yan .. at andun ung mga kaibigan ko.. hindi talaga ako iniwan ..Ee ngayon kaya nuh? Naisip ko kasi mas kumplekado ang buhay ko ngaun..Mas marami akong dapat patunayan. Mas maraming nakatingin sakin at pakiramdam ko isang pagkakamali ko lang mali na din ang magiging tingin sakin ng mga tao. Uso naman talaga kasi ung kaibigan mo daw pero in worst situation sila pa ung nangunguna sa paghalakhak. Sila na dapat dinadamayan ka ee sila pa ung nagki-criticize…
We’ll that’s life :) Full of surprises. Nakaka-excite lang. :)
Sana hindi pa huli ang lahat …
…sana -_-
So please help me Lord !
COMMITMENT BA ??
OKAY !!
Well it’s Sunday - church day, yun nga lang naabadtrip ako. It wasn’t supposed to be like that. I over reacted ?? Maybe. But ‘twas more of being pissed off. Tired of all those short notices. YES I know it’s for the glory of God and that’s the point.
Anyway, I had needed to calm down myself then. I hate my tongue when I’m mad :) REALLY!
plus I’m supposed to be there to give thanks not to get angry so I am sorry Lord for my attitude. :)
I’m just thankful I did not go home directly and decided to go back to church after a while or else I had missed the preaching. So it was about COMMITMENT :)
and that made me question myself… am I not committed enough?
MAYBE…
maybe because I spend more time studying - reading all those academic books and leaving the Bible behind..
maybe because sometimes I just wanted to sleep without praying because I am tired…
maybe .. maybe.. maybe… Lots of MAYBE’S …
GUILTY :)
hay. alam ko naman talaga yung mga dapat kong gawin ee. Committed din naman ako.. un nga lang minsan nawawala sa diskarte. Pero diba hindi naman ibig sabihin pag hindi mo ginawa ang isang bagay ay hindi ka na committed ?? May mga bagay lang talaga na ikaw lang ang nakakaintindi kung bakit kailangan mo gawin yun..
Whatever the reason was… it’s between God and me :)
Ayun lang!
BE COMMITTED :))
yung feeling na selos na selos ka na >.<
Yung feeling na selos na selos ka na tapos tinatawanan ka lang niya dahil natutuwa siya sa reaction ko.
BADTRIP!!
Ee bakit ba naman kasi kailangan pang mangamusta ee di na lang manahimik. HAHAHAH
INSECURA MUCH AKO ?? Hindi aa .. tinamaan lang talaga ng
SELOS
